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Thursday, September 07, 2006

A Hybrid for Clinton's Secret Service

Making the rounds on the news sites today was a press release from Ford, announcing that the company is donating a Mercury Mariner hybrid to Ex-POTUS Bill Clinton, for his Secret Service.

The first "presidential hybrid", the special edition Mariner will include some special custom features designed especially for Bill Clinton which have not been publicized, for security reasons.
  • Red LED arrays provide soft red mood lighting
  • Radar reflecting paint, allowing the vehicle to go "off radar" when necessary
  • A black lacquered cigar box will present illegal Cuban cigars at the press of a button
  • The rear bench has been replaced with pair of buckets which when folded down reveal an inflatable matress
  • The glass and doors are extra thick, to drown out the sound of Hillary, and deflect flying furniture
  • Darkly tinted windows provide privacy
  • Special stain resistant synthetic upholstery, to repel McDonalds special sauce and other stains
  • A special telematics system, invented by Al Gore
  • The I-4 gasoline engine has been replaced with a french-fry (or chitlin) grease burning diesel

17 comments:

sh said...

Pat Goss, the Motorweek mechanic, said on his segment today that burning biowillie virgin in your diesel will clog it up. Another green catch 22.

Of course, Cindy Sheehan and Hanoi Jane will continue to toot their bus horn until the motor craps out, then silent-flush the experiment down their spacious liberal toilet.

th70 said...

Details, details, details, sh.

"Biowillie virgin," as you refer to it, is not 100% pure vegetable oil, which Mr. Goss spoke of in his segment. It is "aimed mostly at truckers and is usually sold as B20 (pure biodiesel can congeal in colder climates). BioWillie is currently sold at 13 gas stations and truck stops in four states (with Texas having the most), and it fuels the buses and trucks for Mr. Nelson's tours."

Why chastise the so-called "greenies" for attempting to alleviate America's energy burdens (of which there are many)? Every little step towards independence of foreign, imported oil is a step in the right direction. Mr. Armstrong's "one small step for man," is quite prudent at this juncture. Each step could lead to a happier, healthier life for your grandchildren and their children...


"Don't hate the players, hate the game."

sh said...

Band-aids on a sucking chest wound won't solve anything, th.

Far better timeline: drain the sources of imported oil first, research and catalog all available domestic ones, and transition when needed, all the while pushing for U.S. engineering breakthroughs (which will be far, far more expensive than oil).

You can all but forget any meaningful collegiate research, though, because the liberal establishment is far more concerned with the likes of Ward Churchill, Deb Fritsch, Rosie O'Donnell, and grabbing that six-figure tenure.

---

"mark" one for you. ;-)

Anonymous said...

"What's wrong with hating the stupid players that(naturally) play stupid games". They have already invented a battery powered sports car that can do 0 - 60 in 4 seconds and can reach a full charge after three hours of recharging, if only the internal combustion engine had such a great start. It's just a matter of will period. Oh yeah and getting pathetic politicians and big companies and all the infrastructure that depends on it to wake up.

sh said...

anony -
If you're saying that an impractical $100,000 car with five year lifespan lion batteries (at which time it'll probably cost $30,000 to get fitted for new) is a bad actor and deserves to be "outed" - I'd say, hate the player and the game.

The player needs to be held accountable.

Anonymous said...

With that sort of thinking we would have no technology "sh said"
A cd-rom holds 750MB of memory in the 70's it would have cost up to $35,000 a year to lease a puter with a fifth that storage capacity that now costs less than a buck. even Gates started out on a "leased" computer. Were the first internal combustion engines "affordable" for everybody? Answer: No they were not. Technology is expensive at first but with R@D and innovation the price will come down. That's part of the mission of the company that manufactures that electric sports car. Accountable shmountable "sh" ,people throw that term around when its convenient fot them.

sh said...

You're comparing what is basically an elective toy with the future of transportation? As far as that goes, do you ever stop and consider the environmental aspect required to keep the internet going, not to mention each individual PC?

Back to the Tesla sportscar: present day IC engines are recyclable into many items.

Tons upon tons upon tons of lion batteries? I don't know. You tell me what they're good for, Mr Technology. How many landfills will we need? Do you really think that Tesla Motors gives a damn at this point in time?

For the record, I would hope you were right, but realistically, it ain't gonna happen.

Eat More Beef said...

"A Hibrid for Clinton?"

Buy or Sell Anything Here!

Anonymous said...

Well Sh they were "all toys" to alot of people at first and I am sure you can find alot of past quotes that sound very familar. As for landfills it did not stop the past/present auto industry, its not like cars were/are 100% recyclable? Do you really think automakers ever gave a damn?? The naysayers are wrong.

sh said...

Oh, OK - you must be the same annoymouse from the hybrid post.

Point 1 - Check out yer Tesla after 30 miles of in-town driving. What's your 0-60 time then?

Point 2 - I've got a mp3 player with a lion battery - brand new, latest - and it's shocking just how fast that sucker runs down.
Ya think every person you visit is gonna let you plug in so you can make it home? Cross-country? fuggetaboutit

Point 3 - Your three-hour charge time - how much drive time do you get with that egg under the bass boost pedal?

Point 4 - Just how many new coal-belching power plants do you think we'll need to power, say, 25% of the present number of vehicles? 50%?

Point 5 - It's no surprise that Toyota would rather not publish total battery weight and cost per mile figures that include amortization of battery replacement. Got a clue?

You've accomplished nothing - Rich-boy toys using existing mp3 player technology is not innovative - Tesla invented nothing.

Naysayer? That's being real: looking ahead and asking real questions rather than a glassy-eyed pursuit of some George Clooney fantasy.
Whoa, check out those Birkenstocks and that classy John Kerry bumper sticker.

Anonymous said...

The saddest part is trying to talk sense to a RINO who doesn't know he is one. "Tesla invented nothing" that statement alone displays ignorance bigtime. It's obvious you are ignorant and your mind is made up, two dangerous conditions. Oh just a side note the Tesla has already been sold out! It will be interesting to watch your ignorance be displaced by technology in the coming years, too many people like you are why humanity has been dragging its butt fro thousands of years.

sh said...

Well, nonny, we can only hope that you and your ilk actually put some stock into your dreams for once rather than selling out.

I've noticed, though, that "Green" seldom means commitment towards putting your green where your mouth is.

Waste your breath, drag your own fro butt, and let the gumint solve it for ya.

Oh, and keep buying Japanese, they've got a big stock in how things go here, ya know.

Anonymous said...

"for". Had nothing much to say so nitpick on some typos eh, with some racist innuendo to boot. Now that's original, just proved my last post. I figured AP's wanna-be sidekick could do better.

sh said...

racist innuendo?

Ever heard of "to and fro"?

Pronunciation: fr&, 'frO
Function: preposition
Etymology: Middle English, from Old Norse frA; akin to Old English fram from


Think "out your posterior" Mr. Sellout.

You never answered two questions:

How many landfills will we need?

Just how many new coal-belching power plants do you think we'll need to power, say, 25% of the present number of vehicles?

Anonymous said...

What's "gumint" mean? Mr. try to confuse them with the details like a government lifer. Who is the sell out? The "gumint" took care of you so why not electric cars hypocrite.

Anonymous said...

Ever hear of "to and fro"? Sure RINO but like I stated earlier "fro" was a typo as I am sure you know NOT meaning "to and fro",which is obvious because of the context. Very disingenious for a wanna-be sidekick. Where is your Middle English for "gumint" fool?

Anonymous said...

Replacing gasoline vehicles with polluting electric power plants is a step forward, not back. Power plants are more efficient and less pollution-producing than putting a small, individual, dedicated power plant in each vehicle.

The materials that make up Tesla's batteries are too expensive to chuck in a landfill. Tesla will take them off your hands, and I'm sure a recycling industry will spring up to take advantage of this resource.