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Monday, February 20, 2006

The Zoo [Politics]

Dear Detroit City Council:

Close the zoo. Detroit can't afford to keep animals, especially when its mostly rich white folks who go. Already did Belle Isle, the other shoe has to drop sometime.

Kill the Detroit Historical society. Who cares about the old days of Detroit? Not much of that is left anymore, anyway.

Then, close the DIA. Mostly rich white people go there, too, and look at art made by dead white people.

Close the DSO, if you can. They play mostly dead white man's music, and native Detroiters can't afford to get tickets anyway.

You should close the Charles Wright Museum of African History. Not many Detroiters go there, who has money for history, when the city is in debt?

Close the Science Center. Mostly suburban schoolkids go there, anyway.

Cancel the fireworks. Who can afford fireworks, when the garbage isn't being picked up? Let Windsor fire off fireworks, if they want, we'll watch from our side.

Culture is important, but what can you do? You have to pay the bills. You can't lose control of any part of the city, it would look weak. Can't let the suburbs be in control.

At least you didn't sell out! At least you didn't privatize anything. so your public employee unions can keep voting you into office.

Gotta keep the priorities straight.


sh said...

At the top of the list of America's Most Liberal Cities is Detroit, Michigan. Detroit, with half the population it once had, and with a quarter of its land vacant or abandoned, is indeed a monument to liberalism. Although the city is financially bankrupt, it is able to find big bucks to subsidize marquee events and to underwrite billion dollar giveaways to professional sports teams. Its unemployment rate may be comparable to that of an east German lander, but its jet-setting, wheeler-dealer mayor has an unlimited expense account. And, whoever is the statewide Democratic candidate, he or she can count on Detroit, where election officials may be slow in tabulating the vote, but they are sure to come up with enough of a margin to make the difference.

Of course, just because America's Most Liberal City is a disastrous combination of stifling taxes, high crime, poor schools and bad roads doesn't necessarily mean that Liberal Cities tend to be that way. Detroit could be a fluke at the city level, the same way that North Korea and Zimbabwe supposedly are flukes at the national level. Just because people are reduced to eating grass in some places where totalitarian socialism rules, doesn't prove that totalitarian socialism tends to impoverish a nation. And, just because some cities that tend to vote liberal become dysfunctional, doesn't prove that liberalism tends to make cities dysfunctional. Examples are merely illustrative. Empirical proof requires the analysis of a statistically-valid sample, and theoretical proof requires a strong connection of cause and effect.

There ya go.

Dublin Saab said...

Part of me is sad to see Detroit and the state of Michigan floundering, especially as it is the seat of the American automotive industry. Mean while the other part of me says, "Go Buckeyes!". I am, as such, conflicted.