Fatwa Friday! Come on Down! Free Swords!

Heh.

A Mitsubishi dealership in Ohio tested the bounds of good taste with a radio ad poking fun at Islamo-fascism. From the Detroit News:

COLUMBUS, Ohio -- A car dealership's tongue-in-cheek radio advertisement declaring "a jihad on the automotive market," will not be changed, the company said, despite drawing sharp criticism that the ad's content is offensive.

Several stations rejected the spot from Dennis Mitsubishi, which boasts that sales representatives wearing "burqas" -- head-to-toe traditional dress for Islamic women -- will sell vehicles that can "comfortably seat 12 jihadists in the back."

...

"Our prices are lower than the evildoers' every day. Just ask the pope!" the ad says. "Friday is fatwa Friday, with free rubber swords for the kiddies."

I'm torn on this one. On one hand, mocking your enemy is a time honored tradition during times of war. On the other hand, you don't have to pretend to the enemy to mock him.

Screw Chavez, Screw Chomsky, and Screw Citgo

Did you know that Citgo is owned by the government of Venezuela?

(image courtesy of Mark Tapscott)

BOYCOTT CITGO

Hugo Chavez, Venezuelan thug-in-chief and panderer to dictators the world over, gave a speech at the U.N.:

"Representatives of the governments of the world, good morning to all of you. First of all, I would like to invite you, very respectfully, to those who have not read this book, to read it.

Noam Chomsky, one of the most prestigious American and world intellectuals, Noam Chomsky, and this is one of his most recent books, 'Hegemony or Survival: The Imperialist Strategy of the United States.'"
...

Noam Chomsky, left wing wingnut, Jewish anti-Semite, America hater, socialist scum who invests his millions in the stockmarket.

The hegemonic pretensions of the American empire are placing at risk the very survival of the human species. We continue to warn you about this danger and we appeal to the people of the United States and the world to halt this threat, which is like a sword hanging over our heads.

...

The devil is right at home. The devil, the devil himself, is right in the house.

"And the devil came here yesterday. Yesterday the devil came here. Right here." [crosses himself] "And it smells of sulfur still today."

Yesterday, ladies and gentlemen, from this rostrum, the president of the United States, the gentleman to whom I refer as the devil, came here, talking as if he owned the world. Truly. As the owner of the world.
...

He's been hanging out with the Iranians--America is Great Satan, Israel is Little Satan, and Bush is the devil!

They say they want to impose a democratic model. But that's their democratic model. It's the false democracy of elites, and, I would say, a very original democracy that's imposed by weapons and bombs and firing weapons.
...

Right, much better the "true" democracy of Cuba, and Venezuela, and China, and Iran. Vote all you want, there's only one guy on the ballot. Don't ask too many questions, or this guy with the baton and shotgun will ruin your day. And take down that satellite dish, comrade.

This is imperialist, fascist, assassin, genocidal, the empire and Israel firing on the people of Palestine and Lebanon. That is what happened. And now we hear, "We're suffering because we see homes destroyed.'
...

Those pesky Jews, couldn't they just roll over and die quietly?

And I think I have some inkling of what the peoples of the south, the oppressed people think. They would say, "Yankee imperialist, go home." I think that is what those people would say if they were given the microphone and if they could speak with one voice to the American imperialists.
...

Not only should Yankee Go Home, Yankee should build a 12ft fence topped with razor wire and keep your goods and your people out of the U.S. And Yankee should stop buying Chavez' oil.

CHAVEZ (THROUGH TRANSLATOR): I don't think anybody in this room could defend the system. Let's accept -- let's be honest. The U.N. system, born after the Second World War, collapsed. It's worthless.

And maybe we have to change location. Maybe we have to put the United Nations somewhere else; maybe a city of the south. We've proposed Venezuela.

Chavez is right about this. The U.N. is worthless. I vote we withdraw. I also agree with his suggestion to move it to Venezuela. Better yet, move it to Tehran.

I don't care if my car is out of gas, and I have to be towed an extra five miles to get to the next BP station. I will not buy Citgo gas as long as Chavez is cashing the check, and sending the change to Fidel.

BOYCOTT CITGO

We Must Never Forget

We must never forget the horror of Sept. 11th 2001. If we do, we will lose.
We must remember, they are trying to kill us.
And we also must remember the heroes we lost, the ones who ran into the very jaws of death to try and drag others out.
The ones who ran up the stairs of burning skyscapers carrying heavy lifesaving gear; the ones who faught the fires at the Pentagon, the ones who faught the murderers in the air.
The ones who had to choose the fire or the fall.
The ones who died in Afghanistan, and in Iraq, fighting the many headed monster.
The ones who we will never see again.
May God embrace them.
May we never lose our will to defend ourselves.

Drifting a Cherokee...

Maybe drifting an SUV is not such a great idea? (He rolls it over near the end)

Ford's New Pilot

The biggest news of the week was the sudden announcement by Bill Ford that he was stepping aside as President and CEO of Ford, and that he was hiring Alan Mulally, Boeing's Executive VP of commercial aircraft.

The punditry flew thick and fast, from the bloggers to the Wall Street analysts. Some think Mulally is not going to be effective because he is an outsider, others think that this is exactly what is needed.

I think that the voters at AutoBlog's recent poll (results here) are right: the choice of CEO is not critical for Ford. "It's the product, stupid" seems to be the popular answer.

From my reading in the Wall Street Journal and other places, it seems that Mulally is known as a gregarious team builder on one hand, and a ruthless cost cutter on the other. While at Boeing, he cut nearly 50% of Boeing's employees, and outsourced many airplane parts and modules to suppliers.

I would guess that Mulally has been brought in to do the same thing for Ford--chop the company down in size, without mercy, by focusing on simplifying the product line and outsourcing major modules. A likely outcome of this is fewer brands under the Ford umbrella, fewer platforms, and more common parts between platforms--which is what all of the automakers have been working on doing for some time now. "Simplify!" and "Outsource!" have been the automotive mantra for some time.

Could Bill Ford have done this? I am sure he could have, but reports were that he was exhausted from wearing his three badges--CEO, President, and Chairman.

A telling bit from the Wall Street Journal yesterday, my paraphrase: Bill Ford awoke one day at 5:00am, but instead of going for his morning run, he sat down and started making a list of what he would like Ford to represent over the next 10 years. "Safety" and "Environment" were two of the things on the list. Bill Ford then thought about what brands were on the road to delivering his key goals, and which brands weren't. The brands that didn't look like they could deliver might not "fit in" with the future of Ford.

In another part of the same piece, the WSJ related this story: at a board meeting, Mark Fields advocated that Ford sell Aston Martin to generate cash to keep North America moving forward. Mark Schultz disagreed, saying that Aston was making money. Bill Ford "slammed his hands down on the table", and said "join the party, we're selling it".

What comes out of these stories, if true, is that Bill Ford is wearing thin, and needs a frontman to take over the day-to-day grind of making ugly decisions that upset employees, shareholders, and dealers.

Reading the tea leaves, I see this scenario (purely my speculation): Jaguar, Land Rover, and Aston are sold off. Mercury is phased out, and Mazda takes its place as the urban/youth/import brand. Lincoln dealerships must then pick up Mazda, or sell Fords as well as Lincolns. Lincoln is on probation. Volvo stays put, due to its strong safety portfolio, and as the Euro-Luxury brand. Ford vehicles get more upscale options, to fill in for the missing Mercury.

I wish Mr. Mulally God-speed, because all of us here in Metro Detroit need Ford to be healthy, not just workers but everyone else from the auto suppliers to the restaurants.

A Hybrid for Clinton's Secret Service

Making the rounds on the news sites today was a press release from Ford, announcing that the company is donating a Mercury Mariner hybrid to Ex-POTUS Bill Clinton, for his Secret Service.

The first "presidential hybrid", the special edition Mariner will include some special custom features designed especially for Bill Clinton which have not been publicized, for security reasons.

• Red LED arrays provide soft red mood lighting
• Radar reflecting paint, allowing the vehicle to go "off radar" when necessary
  
• A black lacquered cigar box will present illegal Cuban cigars at the press of a button
• The rear bench has been replaced with pair of buckets which when folded down reveal an inflatable matress
• The glass and doors are extra thick, to drown out the sound of Hillary, and deflect flying furniture
• Darkly tinted windows provide privacy
• Special stain resistant synthetic upholstery, to repel McDonalds special sauce and other stains
• A special telematics system, invented by Al Gore
• The I-4 gasoline engine has been replaced with a french-fry (or chitlin) grease burning diesel

Hybrid Hubris

The Detroit News reports that in a J.D. Power survey, more than half of Americans say they would consider buying a gas-electric hybrid vehicle. However, the devil is in the details.

Yet U.S. car buyers may have unrealistic expectations about how much fuel -- and money -- they'll actually save by going green with one of many emerging, non-gas options.

Among those considering a hybrid, for instance, the belief is there will be a 28 mpg fuel economy improvement over a gas vehicle. In reality, the improvement is closer to 9 mpg, according to J.D. Power and Associates' 2006 Alternative Powertrain Study.

The survey also found that consumers expected to pay a $5250 premium for a hybrid vehicle.

So let's do some quick math. A 28mpg improvement means a savings of $965 a year, assuming 21mpg non hybrid economy, 12000 mi/yr, and $3/gal gas.*

You could interpret this to mean that people want a hybrid to payoff in about 5 years. This is reasonable, as the average car owner keeps a car for about 8 years.

But the truth is, only the stingiest of curent hybrids (Prius, Civic) come out ahead over 5 years, according to Consumer Reports, and to get there they had to assume $4 gas and federal tax breaks. (my post on this here).

Hybrids don't make economic sense, which is why they are more of a fashion statement at this point than a consumer movement.

* Non hybrid: 12000mi/21mpg * 3$/gal = $1714/yr;
hybrid: 12000mi/48mpg * 3$/gal = $750/yr

Trike Dynamics?

I saw an item on Autoblog that Harley Davidson is going to develop a line of 3-wheel motorcycles based on its traditional 2 wheel products.

I'm not a motorcycle guy, so maybe someone out there can help me out. Aren't trikes less stable (in dynamic maneuvers) than motorcycles, because they can't lean into the turn, and are therefore more prone to rolling? How do you do an emergency avoidance maneuver on a trike?

Honda: Somnolent Styling

This is the (leaked) press photo of the 2007 Honda CR-V.


Honda has great technology, and excellent engines. But their design for the U.S. market is weak, in fact, it is the chink in their armor. I mean, what is this thing supposed to be? It has BMW X5/Mercedes ques along the sides, and a rear quarter that reminds me of a Chrysler product. The front end has a small nose with an apparent overhang and a strange mustache underneath. The front bumper appears to jut forward like a cow-catcher.

Has Honda hired away all of Kia/Hyundai's old designers or something?

I thought that the current Honda Pilot/Ridgeline was a decent look--butch and trucky in a Japanese Mr. Roboto sort of way. The new Civic is very Japanese, and very unique.

This thing, well, if this is the new Honda SUV design language, then GM and Ford have a great opening: make some reliable small SUVs with some passion.

Great Leap Ford-ward

Since everyone in the blogosphere and his dentist have given their opinion on how to fix Ford, and the rumors are flying, I think I'll chime in.

So, here's my Dear-Bill note:

Sell Jaguar, Land Rover, Aston Martin. I've said this before, and I'll say it again. Jag is a black hole, a cash vacuum. Ford doesn't know how to fix it, after years of trying. The trick is, can Ford find a buyer? Rumors are that Jacques "The Knife" Nasser and J.P. Morgan may be interested. That would be rich, as Nasser's buying binge is partly how Ford got into its mess in the first place.

Keep Volvo. Lots of "synergy" there (terrible, over-used business jargon). Volvo has been profitable, can probably make money, and has lots of high-tech safety goodies to borrow. Volvo can be Ford's European luxury brand in place of Jaguar.

Keep Mercury, as long as it makes money (and keeps Lincoln dealers from starving--a key point). But the metro-sexual thing? Not going to work. You're not going to make Mercury into Scion/VW/Honda. I'd see Mercury as more of a Saturn/Buick like entity. Mercury is "Ford plus bling". Keep Lincoln, but make it interesting--look back to the big black boats with suicide doors. Please, no more angry cheese grater robots.

Go private! This will save some cash--no more Sarbanes-Oxley accountants, no more stock dividends. No more Evelyn Davis or liberal Catholic nuns badgering you at the shareholders meeting. No more analysts. Even better, become "employee pwned"--issue private shares to all employees, and invite employees to buy more, financing the company.

To raise cash, sell a stake to an industrial partner. How about BP or Shell Oil? They have tons of cash, and the fuel marketing opportunities would be significant. Sell part of Ford Credit to a bank, like Citigroup.

Consider an alliance, but leave Mr. Bean, er Carlos Ghosn alone. Ghosn is a talented executive, no doubt, but Ford's problem's aren't due to a lack of cost-cutting. Ford's problem is lack of attractive product. What does Nissan have that Ford needs, other than money? Ford already has Mazda for Japanese influence, and Ford Europe/Volvo for European.

If you make an alliance, make one with a company that has something you need. GM for example has excellent low-cost truck engines with cylinder de-activation. Honda has world class small and mid-size cars. Harley has motorcycles. Chrysler has Dr. Z and his mustache.

Fix the product:

• Re-task a few product teams from working on the next Explorer or whatever to get a sub-compact car from Mazda, Ford Europe or Ford South America ready for U.S. regulatory compliance. Do it with minimal changes, so it is ready sooner than later.
  
• Bring a small SUV over as well, call it Bronco.
  
• Bring the European Focus over, to compete with Civic, Corolla, and Sentra.
• SVT Fusion!
• Lincoln Mustang/Lincoln Continental (with suicide doors!)
  
• Do sheet-metal and interior on the Ranger to bring it closer to F-150. I bet there is still a market for small pickups, if they are done well.
  
• Stop futzing around with hybrids and put your money into improving your IC engines.
• Stop naming Ford's with F and Mercuries with M. It is confusing and annoying. Stop naming Lincolns with MK*.
  

Buy Mark Fields a haircut. "Best Executive Mullet", heh.

Walmart's "Ambassador"

I am not a Walmart basher, but they really should reconsider using Andrew Young's company GoodWorks International for a public relations campaign. Here's what Mr. Young said in an interview:

"Those are the people who have been overcharging us, selling us stale bread and bad meat and wilted vegetables. And they sold out and moved to Florida. I think they've ripped off our communities enough. First it was Jews, then it was Koreans and now it's Arabs; very few black people own these stores."

Edit: Ah, I'm late to the story. Young already resigned from his chairmanship.

"Justice", Palestinian Style

Here is what happens if to you if you are a Palestinian who is suspected of talking to the Israelis. I bet he had a nice jury trial beforehand. (Photo from Yahoo! News)

Palestinian gunmen, who identified themselves as members of the Islamic Jihad group, shoot a man in a public square in the West Bank town of Jenin Sunday Aug. 13, 2006. The man, who was executed in front of hundreds of people, was accused by the gunmen of giving information to Israeli authorities, helping them to kill two militants last week in a targeted attack, said witnesses and Islamic Jihad members. The victim was identified as Bassem Malah, 22, who worked in the Israeli Arab town of Umm al Fahm. (AP Photo/Mohammed Ballas)

Hicks vs. Yuppies - BMW Car Chase

I don't know if this is real, but does have a neat ending. A pair of "hicks" (driving a Toyota pickup, no less) harass a guy in a BMW. The guy lets them corner them, then draws a gun.

BP Blowout

The Democrats are howling over BP's pipeline problem. From Yahoo News:

"It is appalling that BP let this critical pipeline deteriorate to the point that a major production shutdown was necessary," said Rep. John Dingell, the top-ranking Democrat on the House Energy and Commerce Committee, in a statement.

"The United States Congress has an obligation to hold hearings to determine what broke down here and what laws and regulations need to be improved to ensure problem pipelines like these are found and fixed earlier," Dingell said

Don't forget that the Democrats fought tooth and nail to prevent drilling in ANWR.

So which is it? Are high oil prices bad, or is oil production in Alaska bad? Can they pick a side and stick to it?

'Gator vs 'Slade

Today while driving home from work, I had the luck to drive near the two major competitors in the large luxury SUV class--a 2007 Lincoln Navigator (sporting an M-plate) and a privately owned 2007 Cadillac Escalade, just a few miles apart. Here are a few quick thoughts.

The Navigator (red) looked good from the rear, and had relatively clean lines from the side view. This was also my impression of the (pearl white) Escalade. Both trucks had a bit of decoration in back, the Navigator with chrome edging on its tail lamps, and the Escalade with the prominent chrome bar and Cadillac badge. I give the rear view to Navigator, for being more understated.

Where things fell apart for me was in front. The Navigator has a very busy front end, which reminds me somehow of an angry cheese grater or maybe a 1950's era robot. Too much flash, too many lines. There is also a prominent bulge in the hood, which has a flashy chromed leading edge, forming a metallic unibrow for the robot. The front view of the Navigator gave me a nervous, busy vibe.

The Escalade was more subdued, in person, and not as busy looking. It also had a big chrome grille up front, and a chrome unibrow. The Cadillac badge up front was large, but it was proportionate to the large vertical headlamps.

If I was in the market for a large luxury guzzler SUV, based on the exterior design I think I would choose the Escalade over the Navigator. Surprisingly, in person, the Cadillac looks more elegant to me than the Navigator.

When it comes to the interior design, however, I would pick the Navigator as having the more interesting design. The Cadillac interior (which I know only from press photos on the web) is an anonymous, but tasteful space which could be from any high end Japanese or European luxury vehicle. The Navigator interior, however, has a definite character, and is unmistakably Lincoln. It is a matter of taste, of course, but I would take the Lincoln furniture.

If I actually had the kind of money to spend on a vehicle that either of these beasts costs, I would pick neither. Instead, I would get myself a nice turbo wagon (think Volvo V50 or Saab SportCombi) for commuting, and for nice days, a Mazda MX-5 or Pontiac Solstice. I'd probably have gas money left over.

My New Picture

I have changed my Blogger pic, in support of the people of Israel.

IDF Rocks

Funny Isreali music video. Chorus: "yalla ya Nasrallah, we will screw you inshallah, we will send you back to allah, with all the hezbollah"



Gun camera footage: IDF takes out katyusha launcher. See ~1:05, you can see the guy manning the launcher start running for his life, right before--kaboom.

[Humor] Steakhouse Story

This is so funny it hurts. It is a piece of college aged potty humor, finely honed into a dangerous weapon. I warned you.

http://shtick.org/Misc/ryans.htm

Interesting transmission design

I saw a writeup on an interesting new transmission design in the SAE magazine being developed by an R&D company in the UK named ZeroShift.



Basically, the way it works is that gears are linked together by sliding "bullets", which can lock gears together in one direction, but if one gear outspeeds the other, the bullets disengage. These sliding bullets would replace the synchronizing components on a manual transmission. It is hard to describe, but the animation here illustrates it.

Supposedly, this technology allows very smooth quick shifts, and eliminates many parts of current transmission.

ZeroShift is testing a prototype unit which is installed in a V6 Mustang.

They're Shoving It...

... right up Hezbollah's ass. A hearty HOO-AH to the IDF.